Healthy Boundaries
I've learned not to reinvent the wheel. There are many times when I may have something on my mind; then I will read or hear something that speaks to what I am thinking. This word from my friend is just that. I say often that " because you are my friend is all the reason needed to not abuse me." the message below speaks to setting boundaries. I will post each one over the coming weeks.
However, let me add that I've had friends whom I love but they saw nothing wrong with saying and doing things that were hurtful. They each felt it was alright not to monitor themselves because we were friends. It was funny. When I would repeat my usual saying many time I got a " see we friends so I can tell ya". or You knew I was coming, I'm always late, so why you didn't wait". One by one I became unavailable. My way of getting rid of negatives. If we want to keep our relationships close lets not discard kindness, courteousness and respect under the guise of relative or friendship. The boundary setting goes both ways. Don't be a door mat and police yourself on your behavior toward others.
There are 6 areas where boundaries may be necessary, that I will discuss with you in the coming weeks. Today, I will start with "emotional" boundaries.
To respect and honor yourself you will need to set personal boundaries. Your boundaries help define who you are and how you relate to other people, as well as what you will and will not tolerate in your life. It will probably feel extremely uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes. One of the biggest challenges that many people face in learning how to set boundaries is knowing when to say yes and when to say no. We must come to realize that no is a perfectly acceptable answer, even though it doesn't feel as good as saying yes.
Each of us must be sensitive to the warning signs that its time to set a boundary. Don't allow anyone to take advantage of you, treat you with disregard, disrespect or demean you. If that is happening, that is a clear sign that a boundary needs to be set.
You are the person who must decide how to set the boundary. You may choose to address the issue and take it head on. Or you may decide that you need to remove yourself from the toxic environment that is being created. Whatever you decide, you are the one who must define your boundaries and find the solution that allows you to maintain your self-respect.
